Is it the end of BYUI? Nope, just a long break!

WOW is all I can say. This semester has gone by SO fast! This has been the best semester ever. What a life changing and growing experience. I've never been the type that saying bye has been easy. You get the chance to put yourself out there for people to love and to grow with and from. But then that time comes where you have to say bye. Why is that always so hard? I know that putting myself out there to make new friends, and to just have a crazy time hasn't been hard, but when it comes to saying bye that's the tear jerker for me. I put 100% into everyone I meet, so when its time to go a little part of me goes with them, leaving a little piece of me gone (for the better). It's been a semester that I will NEVER forget. I have gained some of the most amazing blessings. Those blessings I call; Friends. Each and everyone has been a blessing to my heart. It grows bigger and bigger everyday. I LOVE it. Each and everyone of those people has made a spot in my heart forever. There has been some challenging stuff this semester, but with the friends I made, i made it through. 

 

Speaking of challenging situations, this semester has been a tough one for me sick wise. I had the "opportunity" of getting swine flu and walking Pneumonia. Let me tell you, its not walk in the park. I was out of school for a month and 23 days exactly. Pretty sad huh? Being sick really showed me how tender everyone is, and how blessed I am to have such caring and loving friends here. I had never been so taken care of as I was here. Everyone knew exactly how to take care of me. I did have to go a couple times to the Health Center to get I.V's. But I had rides, people there with me. I really had a personal assistant help me to my every need. It was fun, but I wish I could have had it with not being sick! :) I am so thankful for everything I have in my life. I love my friends!

Each and every person that i've met here has made a big change in my life. Everyone here has a purpose. It might not be the biggest one, but everyone is always changing someone's life in some way. I know that I've been so blessed with the people that have crossed my path. I am SO lucky to have the friends that i've made, and to have the friends I already had here.

i LOVE these girls <3

Having a picnic at the gardens with my girls! :)

You make new friends everyday, I love it.

These videos you're going to see is of me, my best friend and tiff. We got bored :)

P&T (Above)

Tik Tok (Below)

I really have been so lucky with everything thats happened to me up here. I am surrounded by amazing people, their smiles, attitude and way towards life just makes everything so much easier to go through. I LOVE LOVE LOVE BYU Idaho and everything that it's given me. I've grown so much, and my testimony has grown more than I would have ever thought it could. I can't say thank you enough to everyone that has helped me in some way, shape or form. 

*Here are just some fun pics from the semester*

Love life and it will love you back :] Thats been a big quote i've lived by lately. It's so true. Life is a "hurts so bad" kinda thing. Take it as it comes and just embrace everything you've been given. Embrace a trial, a situation, a happy moment, a sad moment, tender times. They are given to you for a reason!

"Sometimes God calms the storm; Sometimes He lets the storm rage and calm His child."

My LiFe Is WoNdErFuL :)

Wow has it been a roller-coaster of emotions for me these last couple weeks. It's definitely been a lesson giver and learner, and a blessing receiving kind of deal. If that makes any sense! I've decided that school drains out every single little thing you have in your body, until there is nothing left to take out from you. It's a hard thing, and no one realizes or gives us enough credit for everything we have to do, put up with, go through and just the every day kind of things we do. I have a special kind of respect for those that go to college. 

I've learned something from each and everyone of the people that God puts into my life. I just love being at the right place or the right time. Smiling or saying hi to that one person that seems to be there right when you are might mean something big, you never know :)

I've found my place, my school and that's BYU-Idaho. I know that I was accepted to this school for a reason. That there is a certain reason why I am here right now! I know all the people that have been placed in my life have been placed there for a reason. I love everyone that i've met, and will love everyone that will be put into my life. :)

Only some of us are the lucky ones that get to have their Best Friends go to the same college as them. I am one of those lucky and blessed people. I dont know what I would have done with out my Best Friend here with me. I did have a semester with out her, and it was a lot easier not having her with me 24/7. But this semester I got to have her here with me, and it showed me how amazing it was to finally have her here. We did everything together. It sometimes got to the point when people thought we could be sisters cause we did everything and shared everything. I barely even slept in my own apartment, let alone bed.

I know that this next semester is going to be hard with out her here, and I know that it's going to be something new, and a trial sometimes. But I can honestly say, I love trials. Cause at the end of each trial is something bigger and better than the trial was. I will back her up a 100% of the way. She is one of the smartest girls I know and she knows what will help her and her needs first. It's just something I'm going to have to be use to, and I know that it's going to take time. But time is what we have :) I learned a great scripture from her. It's Mosiah 24:14. It really helped me understand that even though I may feel alone, I never will be alone. Wow, just brought tears to my eyes. Emotional wreck anyone? She just has done so much for me there is nothing I can do to explain that to anyone. I just thank my Heavenly Father for placing her at that one place, and that one time. I've found my Best Friend, and no one else will, can or even try to replace her. Let's just say the whole phone call/texting isn't going to be the same as the 5 minute walk to her apartment. I'm going to miss her..

"Let the good times be remembered. The present times to be enjoyed, and the future to be wrapped up in the wait." Malan Barker. You really truly can't enjoy the present, with out making memories for the future. Make them, dont plan them.

In LOVE with...... Life <3

LOVEEE! I am so in love with life right now, I can barely begin to describe how I feel. It's just this amazing feeling, and I never want it to go away. And it wont, I wont let it :) I dont know if it's because I am back in (What I call it) "Pleasure Town". Or is it the fact that this Thanksgiving break I learned so many new things? I think its both to be honest.

I spent a lot of my break with 2 Amazing people. The one above is my best friend Kari.

And The other one is Jon Hoopes! :]

~ I have the highest respect and love for these 2 people that are in my life. They teach me something new everyday, and thats what I think a true friend does for another. During this break I learned that it's okay to make mistakes, to hurt, to cry. Just as long as you have that shoulder thats always there for you! I also learned something from Kari. "Finishing out strong". This rest of the semester is going to finish out amazing. I am going to really study, not the one hour stuff. It's going to be the library and all the shibangs. Kari and I realized that when we go to the Temple we feel the most peace and thats when we can really think and have our minds open to anything we want to. We are going to go 2 times a week, when we can to just do baptism's or just to sit and think. Hope it wont be too cold :) I want to just live life to the fullest. I am so lucky to have my best friend up here with me at BYU-Idaho, but also back home in Arizona. She is one of my biggest Role Models, I look up to her so much. I just think its kinda funny how we have to wait for Thanksgiving to realize what we have, and what we are thankful for. Everyone should be thankful for whatever they have, even if its just the smallest of things. Cause really, those go the longest way. Kinda like eating your best friends sucker, but she bought you another one :) 

I had the most amazing break though, it was filled with so many fun activities and seeing old friends, being with the family, long phone calls, going to walmart with Patty and Jon, hanging with Kari everyday, going golfing, bahama bucks, all the QT runs, In N' out cheeseburgers. The amazing food that was made by my amazing mamma, the fun birthday for my mom and niece. I had a blast. Can't wait to go home in less than 3 weeks.

*I love to see the Temple!*

I love being able to have a Temple so close to me. I know that we need to take advantage of having one so close to us. I can't wait to start going twice a week, maybe even more. I know with finals coming up, if we find time to just go to the temple, pray, have faith and really study, we will ace every single one. We are so blessed to have this temple, but also all the Temples around us. I really think they bring peace to the world. I love being able to see a church or a temple on all the corners of the streets (okay, but really..) It just brings me peace knowing the Lord is so close, and that we are able to enter into his holy home. It amazes me how special and lucky each and everyone of us is. :)

Full of Thanks :]

Thankfulness: Aware and appreciative of a benefit; grateful.

Gratitude: A feeling of thankfulness and appreciation.

I've been so blessed with everything that I've been given. I took some time today to think about everything I'm thankful for. There are some small things, that maybe dont mean the most to some people, but mean the world to me. But then there are some of the bigger blessings i've received that has change and blessed my world for the better.

Thankful For;

*Friends

*Family

*A home

*School

*Religion

*2nd Chances

*Phones

*Clothes

*The Saviors Love

*The ability to keep trying

*My Education

*My Best Friends

*My Ipod

*The smiles that warm others

*The hello's we give

*The hugs we get

*The laughter of Children

*Love

*Doctors/Medical assistance

*Good Luck

*Honest People

*Music

*The great days we always should have

*Birthday's

*Being alive

*Missions

*Thankful for being thankful

*The love everyone gives

*A helping hand

*The Goly Ghost

There are SO many things to be thankful for. I am definitely thankful for the people that god put into my life. Or maybe just the ones that came in for a little, but left. They all put something special into my life. I learn from each and every person that crosses me path. I've met some of the most amazing people, and some of the people that might just need help. But honestly, God wouldn't put someone in your life that he knows you didn't need or they didn't need you. Keep looking for the best in people :) I'm so thankful for my life, I couldn't be any happier! I have the best, and thats what I always need to remember! My life is amazing, and all the trials and things I go through, are just things I need to be thankful about!

Quotes and Life Adventures and More :)

I Loveee Quotes SO much! They've always been my favorite way to express myself. There is always a quote that you could pick for the day, or a quote that you could live by. I dont really have a "favorite" one, I love all of them too much. 

I've always been the kind of person that when you ask me something I can always tie it into a quote or something that could pertain to the person's problem. It's just easy to give some one a scripture or quote. It could always be exactly what they need :)

Some of my favorite quotes is about friendship/love. They are all so true. We are so blessed to be able to love. To let our heart open up, grown, then have the rough times that our heart takes. And when we have those rough times that's when the friends come in. They are always there for you! Some of us are luckier than others when it comes to friends. I am SO blessed to have the friends I do. They strive to make me a better person, to bring out the best in me, they are always there for me to vent. We laugh, cry, fight, grow. It's a garden that just keeps getting better with the sweetest things. 

Life Adventures:

Those are my favorites. I love the adventures that are put into my life! Life is always an adventure. You really dont know what your getting into until you look for it. Life would be so boring if you never looked for something fun to do. It's like when you where smaller and you always got into everything. Who cares what your age is, go and look for the good in life. 

I really think the quote above is so true. If life was just given to you, what good would that do for you? I love waking up in the morning (sometimes) and not knowing what fun will be brought. I am afraid to wake up and know that something bad could happen. But when life gives you lemons, you make lemonade.  :)

Things that scare me:

We all have that one thing that scares us the most. I dont know about you, but loosing friends has always been a big thing i've been afraid of. We all make mistakes, but sometimes those mistakes make us lose the biggest things in our life. 

My friends make up my life, always have and always will :) I'm so blessed(as i always say) to have the friends that I do. I dont know what I would have done if some of them didn't come into my life when they did. And the ones that have stayed in my life. 

*The Dark.

*Not being loved.

*Not getting good grades.

*Not being what someone wants me to be.

*Disappointing someone.

*Having that lack of strength when I need it most.

*Loosing my "light".

*Not being a perfect example(even though we aren't perfect)

*Being sick.

*Intimidation.

*Death.

*Not always being happy.

*Speaking to a big crowd

We are scared of something :] Thats when we get the chance to over come them. 

*Bugs

*Someone being better than me(Which will and does happen)

*Not being able to fulfill a calling

*Being replaced in some ones life

*Change

*Making a fool of myself.

*Me and My Best Friend!*

My Best Friend is one of my Biggest Hero's. She has always been the light in my life, that when it gets dark, she comes and put light into it again. She makes me see my life from a different way, and sometimes that's what we really need. She is always so true. To herself, to me and to everyone that she meets. She gives a 100% to you the first day she meets you. Her standards are the same as mine, and it makes it just that much easier to be myself. We could lay around and still have the best times together. Even though we have our little "tiffs" I know that she would be there for me always and forever. 

Lesson's Learned :]

I should be sleeping, but it doesn't look like its going so well.  There is so much to think about, and not enough time in the world to take everything in. This past week i've learned SO many lessons in life. I am so thankful for the friends we are given, the gospel, the support, the spirit, the times we get to bond with each other, the tears that are shed and just the moments that we 

get to truly be us. I've learned that you need to just drop your feelings and situation/problems and focus on others. "When you dig another out of their troubles, you find a place to bury your own. " I really believe that quote with all my heart. This week has really shown me how lucky I am for my little problems. "Remember, we all stumble, every one of us.  That's why it's a comfort to go hand in hand" I love this :] Life really couldn't get any better than I have it. I have amazing family, friends, support, home, I go to BYUI, I have the gospel, I am one of the most blessed people <3

I've always had it pretty easy. I'm a chill, easy going person. Trials have never been the hardest thing for me to over come cause we all handle them differently. Maybe thinking about others was harder for me. I know that while I've been up here at BYUI I've been able to really watch others influence and help each other out. I love that I'm able to listen to the needs of others, then give them my input. This week I learned that My Best Friend and I are a good team when it comes to helping others out and putting our "little" problems away that we thought were really "big". Makes me so thankful for the people that have been put into my life, or have crossed my path. I know that Heavenly Father knows EXACTLY what we need and who we need in our lives. He never ceases to amaze me. I love him so much! :]

BYU Idaho :]

I love love love these people! :]

I love being able to meet new people here. They are always put into your life for a reason. Going to BYUI really shows you that its true.

BYUI, How would you start with those 4 letters? I always wonder. But right now the words that come to my mind are, amazing, fun, exciting, new adventure, lesson learning experience, testimony builder, new friends, new things you learn about yourself. Those are only a few of the things I can think of. 

I've been going to BYU Idaho for the past 2 semester and I'm loving every single moment of it. Sure, we all have our rough days but thats what we get in order to learn new things that our Heavenly Father gives us. He gives us the trials cause he knows we can handle it.

I'm not going to lie, i am LOVING second semester, way more than the 1st. Just because it's so much easier. I know more people, im more comfortable, im more me. And another big part of it is having my Best Friend Kari here. With out her here I dont know if I could have handled some of the rough times I've had. I believe she was put into my life for a reason, and a reason for having her come to the same school as me. She really is an friend in angel form :) life only gets that much better when you have someone like her around.

I've learned many life lessons here, and im enjoying all the pain and sorrow I'm getting too. Sounds a little weird when I say that. But I mean it, you only learn from your mistakes. You always have to remember that. Take life as you go and just enjoy all the moments you get to have. We are SO blessed to be able to go to a Religious school, and be around kids that have the same standards as us. And definitely missing their parents just as much as I am. I know that being here has definitely made me realize my parents and how easy I had everything. I'm so lucky.

Today :] 11/11/09

Technically, its Thursday today.. But oh well, im writing it for Wednesday. Today was a busy day. I had classes, homework, taught Kari how to make a blog so she could check it off her bucket list, went to dinner, talked, worked out with Tiffany Grant. She rocks! Then Suzy and I talked and it was a lot of fun. But then It got to like 1 in the morning of course and I was exhausted. So I talked to Kari for a while before I left. I love that girl, my best friend rocks! I've got the best. We both learned something new tonight, and I love being able to learn from her, but also teach her. :) It's definitely a blessing. I love my life <3

About Me <3

My name is Malan, But I usually go by Mae. My nickname is Maemae. I really honestly can say I go by all of those names equally. Some just mean more than others, if that makes sense. You call me by Malan I know you've known me a lot of my life. You call me Maemae, you really know me. You call me Mae, of course you know me cause if you didn't you wouldn't be calling me that. But at the same time, its just a name i've gone by for a year or so. I do go by it the most, so I understand. Just kidding :) I'm a VERY out-going, loving kind of person. I do tell you how it is. I know that it might hurt some feelings, but it's how I've always been. I dont sugar coat stuff. So if you really want a true honest opinion, im here to give it to you. I love to go out and meet new people. I'm not a shy person, even if I come across like I am. It might just take me a while to get in my comfort zone with you. Just wait 5 minutes and you will be good. I love to help out others. I'm told i have a very big and giving heart. If so, I would love to share that with others. I am the kinda person that loves to just talk talk talk, and i love to listen. It's a skill that's taken lots of practice, and now i love to use it. My family means the world to me. With out them and their examples I dont know what I would be today. I have them to thanks for all the goals and things i've accomplished. They have always been my number one fans. I love it and them. My friends are the 2nd most important things to my heart. They are the ones that I will be there for, no matter what. I'm the kind of friend that if you show me the love and kindness you can give, I will give it back just as easily. My friends are my top priority. They will never be anything but amazing in my book. I've had some of the craziest times, but also the sadness times in my life with my friends. But at the end of the day I know that they are still my friends and nothing will get in the way. People say I let others "walk all over me" but really, if you think about it. My friends would never walk all over me and if they did then I guess they have something to work on dont they? but hey, dont we all :)

My 2 Best Friends(Pictures above)are some of the most Amazing people i've ever met in my life. Kari Sue LeSueur is a true example of a Best Friend. Sure the label says it all. But its the actions that really shows it. We never have a dull time hanging out together. We could both be sick and laying in bed fighting the nastiness we have, but we are always having a blast. I can talk to her for hours and hours. sometimes people even wonder if we could ever be quiet. Anna Husland R. Is my other Best Friend. We are the 3 amigo's. the 3 Musketeers. We have the tie between us that is unbreakable. Sure, Anna lives in Denmark now because she was a foreign exchange student. But "no matter how far in distance we are, it doesn't matter cause we are so close in heart" I will and dont think I could ever replace them, oh wait. I never would :) They mean the world to me. I'm so glad I was so lucky and got blessed with the best. I dont know if they know, but they are in my thoughts, actions and words. More than they know. My heart will always be with them.

My Mom and Dad mean the world to me. I dont know what I would be now if it wasn't for them. Oh wait, ya i do. I would probably be living back in Kazakhstan, Russia. I am the LUCKIEST girl EVER. I am blessed to live in a strong Mormon based religion. It's what really keeps me going sometimes. I cant explain how much my parents mean to me, and the example they are in my life everyday.

Branndd New :]

I've finally created a blog! I'm super excited to get started. It's almost 2:30 and I'm still up. I really hope this doesn't turn out to be a facebook kind of thing. You know, your always on, always making changes, talking to people. Oh wait, of course it is! :] Party time.